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Back to your original resume.
I am going to be a bit mean; hope you can take criticism well. :-)
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OBJECTIVE : To obtain a position where I can use my language skills, work experience and knowledge of golf management for the joy and satisfaction of golfers
>> Looks ok but you should mention "golf management" first as this is a high mark.
PERSONAL INFORMATION: Age : 27 years old Marital Status :Single Nationality : Thai Religion : Buddhism
>> Employers care the least about this. Single, Double (joke), Married, black, yellow, Islam, or Hindu doesn't mean much -- as long as you can work for them.
(There might be an age discrimination in Thailand. But 27 is no problem.
Interest : Reading, Golf, Internet
>> Should say things about golf at a deeper level. Project a picture of an avid golf person.
>> Reading is assumed. Do not mention it. If you don't read, then you will get into trouble soon in your career.
>> Internet thing is assumed. Do not mention it either. No value.
EDUCATION : Master of Business Administration (GolfManagement) Ramkhamhaeng University 2010 2012
>>>> Spell out a bit on what you have studied. "Golf Management" sounds terse. Done any IS? Papers? Workshops? Project?
Bachelor of Business Administration (Political Science) Ramkhamhaeng University 2005 2008
WORKEXPERIENCE : The Best Golf Organizer Ltd. Jul2011 -Oct2011 - In Office : create and execute design in all print such as brochures, advertising papers,Trophy labels and plates and photo slide for presentation - In Event : administering for golfers registration/scorecards/stage and stereo system run smoothly
>> Too short. You need to elaborate more. This is where you make an impact!
Phramongkutklao hospital Apr2005 jun2011 - Pharmacist Assistant : recording medication data from online prescriptions accurately answering queries on supply and availability of medicines and any other general tasks as instructed by Pharmacists
>> Ok.. since it's not related to "golf".
ADDITIONAL SKILLS Able to use Microsoft Office 2007-2010, internet efficiently Able to use Adobe Photoshop fairly
>> don't say fairly.
Advanced communication in English language
>> Got any proof: TOEIC score? Basic communication in Japanese language (in learning process)
>> Any cert? Yank in-learning-process. It looks weird. Friendly, Enthusiastic, Excellent comprehension and retention
>> Proof? Any work-related award? Got great KPI from annual performance review?
and Responsible (worked while studied in Bachelors Degree)
>> This is good!! But you should say it in the Education Section with something like..
Financed 70% of education through part-time work and summer employment. Worked 30 hours per week on average while able to maintain reasonable grade levels.
จากคุณ |
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MissingInAction (MissingInAction)
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เขียนเมื่อ |
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23 ธ.ค. 55 09:25:56
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